The most requested thing for dinner around here? Noodles. With butter.

Friday, August 14, 2015

Just Kidding

I finally figured out why there are so many unexpected little things wrong with my fairly new house.  The builder's initials are J.K.

So, every time he sent a note to his text-savvy workers, he probably signed it.  I'm picturing it something like this:
Guys, let's make sure the tiles on the kitchen counter are installed level.  Homeowners don't like their eggs rolling off and splatting on the floor.  Also, use plenty of grout and make sure to seal the counters properly!       -J.K.
Or maybe he sent one like this:
It's important to install outdoor faucets that work and don't spray everywhere when a hose is attached.  These are my showcase homes that shouldn't require much maintenance by the homeowners.  They certainly don't want to be mopping up their garage floors all the time because of leaks.       -J.K.
A good builder would certainly send this to the construction workers:
I'm coming to check on things tomorrow, please make sure all the molding is securely attached- even in places that can't really be seen.  We wouldn't want a piece to come off and get stepped on.     -J.K. 
Another note about safety:
Please make sure to purchase windows that have a lock at the 4 inch mark.  This way, the homeowners can get fresh air but no one can get into their homes.  These are quality windows and are far superior to non-locking ones that owners have to rig up with dowels in the window tracks to keep them from opening.   -J.K.
And my favorite note that the workers probably got a good laugh at:
Smoke alarms need to be placed as high as possible but still low enough for homeowners to reach with a suitable ladder.  They shouldn't have to arrange their dining room chairs to fit under the legs of the ladder so they can climb up and barely reach the chirping smoke alarm in order to change the wimpy battery at 10:44 at night.      -J.K.

So you  see, you really can't blame my builder for all of the installation sloppiness and equipment flaws, he thought he was doing the right thing- it's just those unfortunate initials!